Touching My Soul

My life was in turmoil. I had been laid off nearly four months earlier and was having no luck in finding another job; my brother was embroiled in the midst of a major lawsuit and needed the family’s support; my friend kept threatening suicide; and I felt on the verge of emotional collapse.

To counter all of this, I walked. Movement, especially repetitive movement is how I release my pent up emotions. So, I was out walking, probably the second or third time that day. For miles, I walked. I walked up the hills and down, noticing very little, while my mind skittered from one topic to another.

As my thoughts tumbled over each other, the shadows grew deeper around me, and the day, which had been so bright just moments before, was suddenly cast into dusk. I looked up amazed to realize that the sun was nearly gone.

I had heard that there was supposed to be a full eclipse of the sun that day, but with my mind on so many other things, it didn’t really seep into my consciousness until I was confronted with dusk at midday.

It only took a few more moments for the sun to be totally hidden behind the moon. Only the slimmest of the sun’s edges remained, and even that was dimming rapidly. Soon it was dark—as dark as late evening, yet it was only a little past noon. I reached skyward as if to pluck the dark cover from the sun, and I felt, for a moment, as if my feet had literally left the ground.

Startled, I dropped my hand and looked back at myself. I stood on the darkened street, with nothing but shadows gathered around me. I stared at my feet as if to reassure myself that they were still firmly planted on the roughened surface of the street.

Looking skyward again, I once more felt a compulsion to release my hold on the Earth and fly. I ran forward three steps and jumped, sure that I would find myself soaring through the heavens like some caped superhero. And in some ways, I did. Although, my feet never actually left the ground, I felt as if they had.

I was, somehow soaring miles above the Earth, racing with the clouds and looking down at the Earth from the heavens above. It was surreal, yet it felt as real to me as the body I wore. I hovered in a tree top and watched the world go by, then soared up into the clouds once again, to frolic with a flock of passing birds.

Just as the corona began to peek out from behind the cloaking moon, I saw a brilliant light before me. I reached out to touch it and it evaded my reach. I extended my arm as far as I could, and just when I thought I would never be able to reach far enough, I touched it.

My whole being burst with joyousness beyond words, and at the same moment the sun escaped its dark mask and the world, for me, was lit with a brilliance from both inside and out.

The next thing I remember was picking myself up off the ground where I lay at the base of a large old oak tree. I felt giddy and light-headed. I could barely maintain my balance, and my face was split by the biggest smile I could possibly wear.

I wanted to sing, to fly, to dance, to run, to twirl. I was blissful and ecstatic, and the feeling lasted for the rest of the day.

When people asked why I was smiling, I had no way to explain it. But it was infectious, because although I couldn’t explain why I was smiling, everyone I encountered ended up smiling, too. It was impossible for me or anyone near me not to smile.

All bad feelings went on hiatus that day. I had touched my soul and soared with essence, and I was sharing those good feelings with everyone I came near.

Now whenever I feel the stress of the world begin to weigh me down, I remember how I felt when I touched my soul, and once again I find the freedom to soar, to rise above it all, and let the brilliance of my soul encompass me.

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