There is no wrong or right path, because they all lead to the same destination—who and what you are right now. Some paths may be longer or shorter, but no matter the length, and no matter how many twists or turns, they still always lead to who and what you are. You may think you took a wrong turning, but that only means you misunderstood the destination. You may think that the destination was getting married and having a family, but you find that by making the choices you did, by following the paths that you did, you have gotten married but had no children, or perhaps you haven’t gotten married at all.
But are you happy with and accepting of who you are? Did you enjoy getting to where you are now? And who’s to say where your next set of choices might lead—after all, is it ever really too late to get married? And does every family have to include children?
If you regret what you did or choices you made, then you can’t fully accept who you are, because you are a composite of your choices. If someone tells you that you’ve made poor, bad, or wrong choices, then you have to decide whether to accept or ignore their judgment. However, if you’re happy with who you are, and accepting of who and what you are, then their judgment shouldn’t matter. After all, they never walked in your shoes along your path, so how can they possibly know what led you to the choices you made?
Most people who would criticize another’s path, do so either because they see everyone as being copies of themselves and so everyone should make the same choices and take the same paths they would in the given set of circumstances, or because they wish they had the other person’s life with the other person’s choices. In other words, they dislike their own life, but rather than change it, they would live your life for you.
Every choice you make is a valid choice. Even those that create karmic bonds are valid choices. Some people need to color outside the lines to see the true image, while others only want to paint the images they see in the coloring book, staying within the lines and coloring very precisely. Either way is fine. Taking the path of creating karmic bonds may take you a bit longer to get to a “final” destination, but that’s okay, too, because in truth, the destination is in the journey.
Each of us makes choices, travels down our selected paths, and creates a person that is different every minute, every hour, and every day. And if we ever decide we don’t like who we are, we don’t want to be what we are, well…then make different choices, select another path.
We’ve all seen the person who makes the same choice day after day, and when the same response occurs to their choice they act surprised, maybe even angry. It’s as if they’re expecting something else to happen and can’t understand why it isn’t. But give them the same situation a week later, and watch as they again choose to respond in the same way, ending up with the same result. (Picture a head being repeatedly banged against a wall.) And you have to ask yourself, why don’t they make another choice; why don’t they try something else?
But while to us watching that person making the same choices over and over may seem foolish, it’s their choice; and it may just be that making that same choice over and over is a way for them to learn whatever it is they’re not quite grasping. Kids do it all the time, it’s called trial and error. Sometimes it takes more than one trial to convince someone that if they want a different response, they need to make a different choice.
Once they get it, though, they can now make a more aware choice when deciding whether to keep traveling the same path, or to try something different. Every path is a valid path. Every path leads to the same destination. And every path is great experience, for all of us.