I’ve been trapped in a soap opera lately, unable to get out. The experience is surreal. I keep trying to turn the melodrama off, to step out of this daytime drama and back into the life I had before, but for some reason it won’t turn off. I’ve changed channels, but that merely altered the players in the story without really changing the story itself. I’ve done everything I can, short of pulling the plug, and yet the soap opera still persists.
I dislike melodrama. I dislike daytime or nighttime soaps. And I avoid all reality shows because they are contrivances of those who would play-act and play up the melodramatic moments of life. Melodrama is the deliberate complicating of life. The contriving of falseness in an otherwise straightforward situation.
Life needn’t be complicated or difficult, yet lately I have felt as if I were swimming upstream. That tells me that I’m not living true. I’m not following the path that I need to be following. For me, this usually happens when I start playing to the “audience” instead of living for myself.
Now, the audience can be anyone outside of myself that I’m trying to “impress” or gain sympathy or attention from. Most times the audience is just my husband, but lately it’s been my blog readers. While my blogs were and are at the core true reflections of my thoughts, ideas, and activities, lately they’ve been puffed up with melodrama.
Therefore, to regain my perspective, and lose the soap opera flavor to my life, I took a short vacation from writing. I am going to try to retain my newfound direction and refrain from the melodrama, and to do that, I will once again write for myself rather than for my audience, my readers.
So, while I appreciate everyone who comes to read; please understand, that I am writing not to entertain you, but simply to express myself in as true a form as I can manage. And when I have nothing to say, I will remain mute rather than create a soap opera out of my life again.
Thank you all for your love, patience, and understanding.