Living in a land of make believe

We live in a false world, a land of make believe. It’s a world where pretense is the norm and truth is suppressed (supposedly for the betterment of everyone). But is it really better?

In my world, I must say only nice things, only pleasant things. I’m not supposed to say what I truly believe, feel, or think because it may offend or hurt someone else. But doesn’t lying hurt, too?

For example, at my job we cannot say anything that might hurt or offend someone else or in any way upset them. So, I must monitor every word I utter in an effort to be absolutely neutral in what I say. I also cannot reach out and physically touch someone—not a hug, not a light touch on the shoulder, or a comradely hand to the back—without taking the risk of being accused of sexual harassment.

And these same restrictions spill over to my life away from work, too. If those at work were to read my blog and found it somehow threatening, non-professional, or in any way hurtful, then I could be reprimanded. If I e-mail someone (on a personal e-mail account), or make comments on Facebook or Twitter, I can be accused of being a cyberbully.

So, what happened to the world of freedom of speech, to a world where truth of perception, belief, and feelings were welcomed instead of this half-baked Disney World where only banalities and neutral non-speak are acceptable?

Am I advocating bullying (in person or on the computer)? No, but then again, one man’s bullying is another man’s truth. How are we to learn if we cannot speak? How can a child learn sensitivity if they never experience pain—the pain of hurting someone else, or the pain of being hurt themselves?

Just because you tell a child that certain words are hurtful does not guarantee that they will understand. You probably grew up being called names or being excluded from activities, I think most of us have. So each of us has our own set of “hurtful”, “not nice” words or actions that we try to teach to others. But if a child never sees the result of using hurtful language or taking hurtful actions, or if they are never the recipient of those hurtful words or actions, they have only your word that those terms, phrases, or actions are “bad”.

Eventually, that won’t be enough. Eventually, all they will see is that their parents are afraid of certain actions or words. They will become curious and may simply try using those words or performing those actions, or they may become manipulative, using your fears to their advantage.

I understand wanting to spare others what we each went through—we all try to do that—but if we don’t allow others to make mistakes, if we don’t stop creating and enforcing rules that make us live in a false world based on pretense and insincerity, then we all suffer. I find it infinitely more stressful to be constantly watching and gauging everything I say and do for fear I may offend or hurt someone, than simply allowing myself to be who I am—someone who would not intentionally hurt someone, but may (occasionally) put my foot in my mouth. My life, then, becomes like a war zone, where each step I take can put me in the middle of a mine field, and each word I utter or each action I take can destroy my world.

I can no more stay silent (as stated in the old adage of saying nothing if you can’t speak nicely), than I can not write. Yet, how I am to gauge which words I write will annoy or hurt? I believe rather than police each other, we need to police ourselves—turn off those programs that you find offensive, do not read stories or writings that upset you, and by all means, walk away from someone whose ramblings you disagree with.

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Chameleons

The “Messages From Michael” book says that there are 7 different types of people based on the energies (characteristics) they present. According to them there are active energies, passive energies, and one neutral.

Following their guidelines, I’m (supposedly) one of the neutral folks; but I don’t think we’re so much neutral as we are adaptable. From what I’ve read and observed, we “become” whatever type of person we’re with if their energies are strong (translation: if they have a strong personality).

What I’ve experienced is that people with neutral energies seem to act like chameleons, absorbing, and then displaying whatever traits the person or people we’re dealing with portray. And truthfully, it’s exhausting. It’s hard being everyone else rather than myself, especially when you work or interact with medium to large groups of people every day.

Each day I go into work determined to be myself, and each day I find my senses overwhelmed with other people’s emotions, needs, and goals. If the person next to me likes gardening (which I do also), then I find myself “loving gardening (their like, plus my like). If the person next to me or speaking with me hates their mother-in-law, then I find myself feeling the same way—never mind the fact that I adored my mother-in-law. (In fact, I love my husband’s whole family.)

I’ve closed down my aura and pulled in my emotional layer, and I still find myself overwhelmed sometimes. When I speak with other “neutral energy” people, I find that many of them feel the same way—overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and wondering who they really are. One moment we’re a clown, and the next a jock. We go from nerd to nurse in a split second, because in order to be receptive to the people around us, we need to shift our energies to mesh with theirs. That means, shifting our personalities, too, because that’s just part of the energies we’re adapting to. So, like the chameleon, we change “colors” with each person we interact with, and, if we’re not careful, we can become “lost” in the plaid tapestry of everyone else’s personalities and forget who we are.

According to the “Messages From Michael” book, everyone shifts their energies at least a little bit when interacting with others, but the neutrals are the most adaptable and are almost always shifting and changing. Now some energies are similar enough to your own that you don’t have to “change” all that much, while other people have energies that are so far different that you can only match a small segment of it.

In my case, most of the people I work with are close enough to my own energy patterns that it doesn’t take too much shifting to blend in. However, there are several at the extreme fringes of my range and only two who are so close that I barely need to shift at all. But even chameleons want to be themselves once in awhile, so I tend to want to stay in my cube and do what I do best—write.

However, at this job there’s a push to be part of the team, to mingle and interact with others and not just hang out in your cube and do your work. Therefore, by the end of the week I find myself completely drained with all the shifting I have to do. It’s not that the “shifting” is anything I consciously think about or plan. It’s just something that my energies do, but nonetheless, it is tiring. So, come the weekends, this chameleon hangs out on her own lanai and in her own backyard and becomes just herself.

Hmmmm…there’s a nice juicy looking fly….lunch, anyone?

What a funhouse…

The universe is a funhouse of mirrors. I’m finding it hard to accept, even though I can visualize it fine. If you step through the wall at the back, you reappear stepping through the wall at the front of the funhouse room. Step out of the room to your left, and you reappear on the right. If you look behind yourself, or to your left, or right, you’ll see multiple images of yourself at different points in your life as if in a hall of time-traveling mirrors.

At least that’s one of the latest theories that the scientists have about our universe. Now, instead of our universe being infinite, they’ve suddenly decided that it has boundaries and structure. Yet, despite the boundaries, the rules of this finite universe state that no matter how hard we try, we can never cross from one universe to another. We simply reappear back within our own universe at a corresponding corner or edge. Therefore, if you leave the universe going north, you reappear at the southern edge.

Some of the string theory scientists who also go along with this new finite universe theory, have stated that our universe is shaped like a large bubble. This large bubble is pressed up against a multitude of other large bubbles. According to the scientists, each of these large bubbles is another universe, which is merely another version of our own universe.

They call it the multiverse theory. Strings of pearls each touching, but not influencing the others along the strings. Now, according to these science guys, if you want to “escape” your universe, you would have to change the frequency at which your internal structures vibrate (this is way down beyond the atomic levels).

According to the scientists, every universe is self-contained because of it’s frequency of vibrations. So, if you don’t change the rate at which your physical form vibrates, then you simply reappear back inside your universe. 

Those theoretical cosmologists and physicists who claim that our universe is more like the funhouse full of mirrors have no explanation as to why we can’t leave; they simply say you can’t. (Sort of a “because I said so…” kinda thing.)

Also, whereas the funhouse theorists say that if you look right, left, forward, or backward, you’ll see images of yourself at various points in time, the string theorists say that each bubble or pearl, has smaller bubbles clinging to it. It’s these smaller bubbles that contain the important points in time that are needed because of their influence on our universe. And as each of those points in time is expended and no longer needed, then like a bubble, it simply breaks apart and flows back into the soapy exterior of our universe.

I’m not sure what I believe—finite or infinite; soap bubble, wave (infinite), or funhouse. But I do know it’s entertaining to listen to the scientists come up with their theories, and then try to explain them.