Can you hear me now?

liteningI lost my voice 2 days ago. I’ve looked everywhere for it, but it’s just not here.

I think it went on holiday…can’t say as how I blame it. I mean, it’s not like I ever really let it out much. Most of my communication is (and always has been) via my writing–letters, emails, notes, texts, stories, books. I seldom actually speak. I can go a whole week and only speak to one person (my husband)…and yes, I do have a full-time, 9-to-5, corporate job. However, even with the full-time employment, I communicate via email, post-its, and other means of written documentation.

It’s strange, to me, though. I thought I would miss having my voice, but I really don’t. A few more people (than normal) think I’m rather stuffy and snooty because I didn’t respond to their “hellos” as we passed in the hallway (well, I did respond, just not verbally…I twiddled my fingers or nodded to them). But overall, being unable to speak hasn’t really changed my life at all. My husband is enjoying the brief respite, and my cell bill may be a bit higher since I’m unable to use the phone feature and have to rely on texting and email instead. But, then (as I said), that was always my preferred method of interaction anyway.

I always wondered what it would be like to lose one of my senses–hearing, sight, speech–but trying to imagine it isn’t quite the same as actually experiencing it. I always thought, losing my sight would be the worst (no more books, movies, or nature sites), and sound the least problematic (I so love the sound of silence). As for speech or vocalizations, they weren’t really in the running at all. But now that my voice has gone on holiday for a while, I’m beginning to realize that I really don’t miss it at all.

I remember reading in Stephen King’s “The Stand” about how life is incomplete without communication. You can have a thought, but if you have no way to communicate or share that thought with someone else, then the process is incomplete. But there are ways of communicating other than vocalizations, and I’m partial to writing. So, if I were to lose the ability to write, text, or type, I might be more upset, but obviously losing my ability to speak isn’t that a big deal (at least to me).

Therefore, I’ll keep my sight and my hearing (still love my music, after all), but the voice…well, I just hope that it’s having a good time wherever it has taken off to…I imagine it sitting on a beach somewhere, soaking in the sun and drinking mai-tais. But hey, for all I know, it’s out skiing somewhere; racing downhill and screaming for all its worth. Whatever it’s doing, and wherever it is, I certainly hope it is enjoying itself. After all, I fully expect it to stick around for a while once it finally decides to come back home.

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