The Punster

old-books-candle

A few puns to brighten up your day:

  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  8. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. It’s being looked into.
  9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
  11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
  13. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  14. A backward poet writes inverse.
  15. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
  16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
  17. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
  18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’
  19. Two people sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
  20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

 

Advertisements

About TA Sullivan

An author, writer, photographer, and fellow life traveler who offers her wit, wisdom, and stories with others who share her path, if even for a moment.
This entry was posted in technical writing, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.