“All this psychic stuff is nonsense. You’re all a bunch of cons.” So, goes the plaintive cry of the non-intuitives and skeptics everywhere.
At first it used to bug me when people said that. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that it’s really just their fear speaking.
Fear is a crazy thing. It can make us say and do things we (believe) we never would. And, many times we’re left with a bad memory and lots of regret. For instance, remember that guy who rudely cut you off in traffic, and then flipped you off the other day? You so wanted to respond in kind, but somehow you managed to keep your cool.
I bet if you were to check with that guy, you’d probably find that he’s usually a very laid-back and easy-going businessman. However, that day his chief feature of impatience (the fear of missing out or of being late) told him that you were the reason he was going to miss his meeting. So, he cut you off. Fear coerced him into acting irrationally, and even recklessly…but then, that’s what fear does.
Fear whispers and coerces and twists things around, making us believe things that (in our normal) minds we never would. We look at a situation or event and our fear tells us that it’s bad, dangerous, or can (in some way) harm us, so we react in a way that is contrary to our true selves.
And before you say you’d never do something like that, take another look. Remember that week when you growled under your breath because the neighbor’s dog kept doing its business in your yard? You mumbled and grumbled to others and to yourself, but you never challenged the neighbor about his dog. And why? Because your fear of confrontations stopped you cold. Your need for acceptance whispers to you that if you make waves and state your opinion, people won’t like you. Instead, you whine and grumble to anyone who’ll listen how mistreated you are, how you try to be such a great neighbor, but others aren’t. Martyrdom is the devil whispering in your ear telling you that if you want to be remembered that you must sacrifice your needs for others’ needs. So, you remain the victim hoping that people will remember and accept you because of how self-sacrificing you are.
Each of us, whether we want to admit it or not, has at least one major fear that drives our lives. We chose these fears (though most of don’t remember this) to help us learn and experience more about ourselves and the world we live in. However, we don’t have to let these fears define us. Instead, we can identify the fear—once you name it, it loses a lot of its hold on you—and then we can work at voiding its power completely by identifying the situations that trigger it. Does it appear when time is an issue? Does it keep you from recognizing when you’re taking on too much? Does it tell you that you’re not worthy and so you keep sabotaging your own life (ruining your chances at a promotion, destroying your health, etc.)?
If you can recognize your fear’s whispers, you can learn to ignore them and break free of fear’s hold on your life. Learn to think before you speak or act. Take several deep breaths and think about the situation. Don’t let fear convince you to do or say something contrary to your true nature. Don’t let the fear eclipse the light of your soul. Instead, release the fear and allow your spirit to shine in every situation.
To learn more about the fears that surround our lives or the lessons that drive us, check out one or both of these award-winning books: