panicEscape. I need to get away.

Frantic, I peer around searching for a way out.

Heart pounding, I know if I don’t move quickly, they’ll be on me.

In a panic, I dash for the darkened opening that leads who knows where certain that I’ll be caught any moment.

So who are the ubiquitous “they” who are chasing me? I have no idea.

I have no idea what I’m afraid of, where I’m running from or to, and who it is that is pursuing me. All I know is that each night for the past 2 weeks, I’ve awakened in a cold sweaty panic, as I try to evade my pursuers.

Sometimes, I’m with one or more other people and we’re all trying to escape, other times I find that I need to rescue a child or puppy from imminent death; but most times, it’s just me, the dark, and the panicky need to escape.

So just what it is I’m running from? Based on other aspects of the dreams, I’d say that there are situations that I don’t want to become entangled in, and there are people and situations that I really prefer to avoid. The biggest issue I face while awake, though, is trying to determine just what and who those situations and people are. It seems so clear to me while I’m dreaming, and yet when awake, the details of the dreams are muzzy and unclear, which leaves me wondering just who I need to avoid—is it someone at work? Or is one of the projects going to cause me problems and upheavals? Is it merely a lesson that I need to learn, or is it truly a situation that is best avoided if my life is to continue on the path best suited for achieving my soul’s goals.

OnDreamsCover_Smashwords_withtextWhile I’d like some more meaningful answers to help me decide just what I need to do or not do, I do so wish that nightmares would end so that I could get some restful sleep. I understand and appreciate when my inner self needs to communicate with my waking self; however, sometimes the messages just don’t seem to make sense. There are just some times when a different means of communication are needed, and this is one of them. The nightmares are doing little except creating havoc with my sleep cycles and leaving me sleepy and irritable. It would be so much better if my inner me could just whip out a pen and paper and write a note in plain and simple words that I could then read and act upon.

As it is, whatever it is my inner self is trying to warn me about, will probably occur simply because I’m too sleepy and tired to see it coming.


It’s a Zoo

We all live in a zoo, of sorts. Each of us sharing some cages, and others walled off in our own private cages within the bigger cage of life. In fact, some of us have enclosed ourselves within multiple cages, each smaller and more cramped than the next one. Others have managed to break out of most of their cages, and now only huddle within the largest of them, with edges so far flung that they can’t even see the bars. For others, the edge of their cage is so close that they feel hunched and crowded no matter what they do.

However, most of us don’t wish to see or acknowledge these cages, so we don’t; after all, we are the creators of our cages, so we are hardly going to admit (even to ourselves) that we have placed these boundaries around ourselves. But think about it…how often have you told yourself that you can’t do or say something, or that you mustn’t do or say something? Every time you do that, you put another layer of boundaries (another cage) around yourself. These are cages built of fear. Whether it’s the fear of being perceived as “different than the norm”, the fear of failing, the fear of being rejected, or the fear of appearing silly or stupid, it’s still a barrier that you create around yourself.

What if it didn’t matter what anyone else thought? What if there were no way to measure success and failure? Would you do or say something then? Probably. Because it would be more difficult for the fear to take hold. Maybe not impossible, but definitely more difficult.

Some fears cause you to create a cage of solitude, walling out anyone and everyone that would even try to get close to you. Arrogance builds a fear in people of being seen for what they are rather than what they want others to believe they are. This causes someone with arrogance to build a cage around themselves to lock others away; keeping them from coming too close. Greed is another one that causes people to create a cage of solitude because they are more intent on obtaining more of whatever it is they feel they don’t have enough of. This causes the greedy ones to push people away (unless, of course, it’s people that the greedy one needs to “collect”), because they only have time for people that can help them obtain what it is they need.

Some people build cages not just around themselves, but around others, too. It could be that they fear being alone so they cage themselves together with a select chosen few to keep them close. It could be a widow who holds her grown children too close, or a clingy friend. Some people are afraid of being abandoned, so they, too, build cages around family members or friends in an attempt to hold them close.

Others build cages of “love” but the love is unbalanced, because their love is based on fear. They’re afraid that their partner might leave them, or they’re afraid that their partner only loves them because they’re beautiful/rich/powerful.

Most people do not analyze their reasons for “loving” someone else, at least not until that relationship starts to fall apart. However, even then, they will rarely recognize that their love was anything but that all shining icon called true love that we were all raised to expect and so look for endlessly.

But even an honest, balanced love can become a cage; although, it is usually a less restrictive, less inhibiting one. That is because it is constructed by all the participants in an equal and balanced way. It is more of an exclusionary barrier, keeping out those too frightened by such beauty as pure love to be able to understand or share the emotion. However, this is a rare occurrence, and this type of cage is seldom seen by the majority of us, and when it is, we usually see it as something to fear.

So, next time you think we only put animals in zoos, think about the cages you’ve built around self, and realize that we’re all in our own personal zoo.