Where is Love?

wave washed heart and pink shovel_4500Where has the romantic gone?

How did she become lost?

Where is the lonely little girl who constantly poured her soul

Into a few choice words—laying bare her life, her heart, and her mind?

I have searched everywhere, yet she remains lost.

I see a form; it could be her.

Instead I am confronted with some glowering old woman

Whose sour disposition seeps forth from every seam of her face,

and every pore of her skin.

Like the odor of spoiled meat, it surrounds her in a miasma,

full of despair and dislike.

When she sees me, she grabs my sleeve

and demands querulously, “Where is love? Where has it gone?”

“I was a young woman once—in love with life and filled with joy.

Now, here I am dressed in these rags. My hair is coarse and my

face is wrinkled. I do not understand. How did I come to be this way?”

Her tears follow the runnels of her face

until they tumble free and splash against her shawl.

Her claw-like fingers still grip my sleeve

and I find myself patting her age-speckled hand.

Love is so fleeting, so swiftly fading.

With its departure do we lose our youth,

our beauty and our way.

Feeling her pain, I turn her toward the light.

Wiping away her tears, I softly explain

that love is there, in front of her.

For within the light all is joy,

and within the light all is music,

and within the light everything is love.

With a look of awe, she releases me

and reaches toward the light.

As she shuffles forward, her countenance changes.

Her face grows smoother, and her back straighter,

and as the glow surrounds her, somewhere deep

within myself I feel the tones of love resound.

Is there proof of an afterlife?

Psychopomp 3D - DLS - 8pxls - 2

TNT has a new show starting in June called “Proof”. I must admit, I am intrigued…from the little bit I’ve been able to find about it, it sounds as if it could be interesting. The premise is this:

Rich old guy, afraid of death and dying, hires young doctor to research life after death and bring him proof that there is some sort of existence beyond this world. So, she investigates NDEs (near death experiences), psychics, mediums (and yes, there is a difference—psychics can read people’s energies, intuit possible future events, and sense other people’s emotions (among other things); while mediums speak to dead people), reincarnation reports, OBE reports (out of body experiences), hauntings, and other paranormal and death-related happenings in an effort to find “proof”.

Depending on how they treat the subject the show could be helpful in bringing death and dying out of the closet and into the light, or it could simply push it further into the corner of that dark, cluttered closet where no one will be bothered by it. I understand that it’s TV, which automatically indicates that any information it provides will be diluted and inundated with melodrama. However, there’s melodrama and there’s high-camp. If they go the route of camp and ridiculousness (ala the TV show, Ghost Hunters, or the movie, Ghost Busters) then they will do nothing to improve people’s understanding of physical death and spiritual life (not to mention, losing me as a viewer ;-}. However, if they stick with the melodrama, they might actually be able to help people understand that death is not scary, and what happens after the body dies is not scary.

As an escort to those newly transitioning from and to physical life, I can assure you that life goes on…in a different way than what we experience now here on Earth, but it does continue. I don’t know how anyone could actually prove that consciousness and “life” exists beyond the physical world, though. It’s not as if you can scribble it out in a formula, or build a measuring device that would definitively prove to everyone that life doesn’t end when the physical body dies. But then again, what is acceptable as proof is different for everyone. Some will accept only what they can see, hear, taste, or feel, while others what all the scientific jargon and formulas to back it up. That’s the type of person that even if you could them across the border into death and bring them back, they would find some other explanation for what they experienced. After all, people can only accept what they wish to accept; it’s the way our brains are made. If it’s outside our experiences and expectations, then we can either expand our acceptance factor and acknowledge it as something we never experienced, but could be true, or we can block it and find a more reasonable (to us) explanation to it—something that will fit within our mental model of what is real, possible, and true.

That’s why for some people there are miracles, and for others common occurrences. A child becomes gravely ill, and is treated by a modern healer and is cured—this can be a miracle to someone not familiar with or accepting of modern medicine; while for others it is just the natural occurrence and result of taking antibiotics. So, what proof would you need to accept that physical life isn’t the be-all end-all of existence, or do you already accept that this isn’t all there is?

Sleep Walking

dreamer2There’s a passage in one of Stephen King’s books where he talks about how his protagonist is avoiding life by burying himself in his writing. SK goes on to say that to the protagonist, the characters in the story he is writing are more real to him than the world and people in which he actually lives. I mention that because for a while I felt as if my life was that way.

I had been burying myself in a pretense of life to the exclusion of what was important. I went into work and I busied myself with how-to guides, indices and table of contents, images and tables. I scurried to meetings, and followed agendas, and answered phones, and all the time all I was really doing was avoiding life—real life.

Oh, I can see you going, “Whoa! Wait a minute; what you described is life.” But you’re so wrong. For me life has never been about creating a physical product or object, or going to meetings so I can listen to someone worry about whether deadlines will be met, or whether we should change the template of our how-to guides. For me life has always been more about why people act the way they do, care about what they do, or say what they do.

Seeing beneath the surface of the games and dramas that people participate in has always been easy for me. So easy, in fact, that I rarely got caught up in the dramas myself—at least not for any length of time. I think this is why, when I realized what I was doing, that it hit me so hard. Here I was, going through the motions of living every day and thinking that this was what it was all about, this was living; then suddenly realizing that what I was doing was really avoiding life.

I literally became a sleep walker during the days—I came into work, did my “thing” and then went home, never recognizing that what I was doing served little purpose but to occupy my mind and keep me from actually seeing beneath the surface to my real life.

I suddenly recognized just how much people do things out of habit. We’ve all been brainwashed into thinking that if we don’t have gainful employment that we’ll starve, if we have nowhere to live, we’re failures. Yet, look at how many people manage to do what they want and still get by. How many people are painting, sculpting, selling poetry, hanging out at the beach riding surfboards and just enjoying life?

There’s nothing wrong with any of those options, just as there’s nothing wrong with “working” for a living. I think everyone needs to make their own choices. It’s just for me, I finally recognized that what I was calling “working for a living: was really “hiding” from life. While I want to write, and I want to make money enough to support myself and my husband, I also needed to unbury myself from this false life and continue my search for what’s real—for me. And what’s real for me is understanding the BIG picture—who we are, what we are, and where are we going.

So, although I still work writing how-to manuals, and I still participate in “normal life”, I’m also spending much more time in the astral plane. In the astral plane I can interact with others like myself who are ready to know, who are ready to see what lies beyond. Then during the day, rather than lull myself back into a walking sleep, I study the people around me. Not in a disinterested, mad-scientist way, but rather as stranger to a unique and extraordinary world that I need to understand and figure out.

I see the world through the eyes of someone new; and, like a child, I revel in the beauty and simplicity of a raindrop, or marvel at the sound of bird’s call. I enjoy the fragrance of fresh brewed coffee, or the sight of someone laughing.

Every day is a unique and marvelous occurrence just waiting for me to experience, and experience it, I do. I no longer sleep walk through life, but instead I try to make each day something joyous and positive, even if all I am doing is going to work. Every day is a wonder, and every moment a precious gem.

Tall

tallshortI decided to go for a walk…nothing unusual in that. I love walking and do it as often as I can. What was unusual was my perception of things.

I was looking down on the world as if from a great height. I,who have been height-challenged my whole life, was looking at the landscape around me as if in a body that was tall…perhaps upwards of 7 or 8 feet tall.

It was strange, yet it was also awesome. I looked down at the sidewalk and it seemed so far away. It was more than twice the distance from me as normal, while the tops of the trees, which I was now focused on, seemed so close. I reached out toward the sky and felt as if I could grab the clouds in a bear hug.

I spun around like a child…my arms extended, my face pointed skyward. As I spun, I felt almost untethered. It was if the merest of threads kept me bound to the earth. I felt that if I truly wanted to, I could simply let go of that thread and leaving my body behind, I could soar right up to the clouds drifting by.

I took a step forward and my body awkwardly responded. It was if I had just learned to walk. I had to actually think about the motions I needed to make for my body to step forward. After about half a dozen steps the body and I felt more in tune with each other, and I didn’t have to focus so much on what I wanted it to do. However, the feeling of tallness, of towering over my actual physical form continued. It was if I were two people…the short, typical me, and a towering giant standing over me. It was an awesome feeling; an interesting perception of reality.

By the time I completed my walk, the two realities had finally merged back into one…the short reality of my “normal” body. But the feelings and awareness awakened by the experience of being so “tall” lingers. And in that lingering perspective is a new and unique (for me, anyway) of viewing the world and those in it.

It gave me a feeling of connectedness and uniqueness all at the same time. It gave me feelings of being the same, yet different; and it allowed me to understand that no matter who you are, we all see the same world…we all just see it from our own unique perspective.

The soul’s voice

OnDreamsCover_Smashwords_withtextIf people’s eyes are the windows to their souls, then dreams are the soul’s voice. Dreams can praise, promise, warn, caution, sing, yell, and whisper. Dreams give voice to those hidden secrets deep in our souls, the yearnings, the passions, and desires.

Dreams may seem meaningless, and I know many people tend to ignore their dreams. However, dreams can tell us so much about ourselves and the others around us if we would just listen to them.

Dreams rarely speak in a plain and open manner. Most times they use a language that is obtuse and somewhat opaque, and the messages are oblique and sometimes hard to hear. But once you figure out the language of dreams, you will find that the information they offer can broaden your world exponentially. It’s amazing how much more you will be able to see and understand once you learn to speak “dream”.

I’ve spent decades listening to and deciphering the meaning of my dreams. I’ve become so well-versed in dream-speak, that I rarely even need a dream dictionary to understand what the dreams are telling me.

Here’s an example:

I was standing alone in the transitional plane, wandering once again whether I was on the best path for me, when the mist suddenly changed to a period room. It seemed to be a room from a well-adorned home (probably from the 1700’s). I was in a period gown, sitting on a settee, and a man came in. I couldn’t clearly see his face, but in the dream I knew him and loved him. He offered me a jewelry box and inside was a single pearl on a gold chain next to two pearl-drop earrings. The scene grayed, then returned, and the box now contained a ruby pendant and earrings. It grayed once more, and the box now held an opal pendant and earrings.

I took the box and the scene dissolved and faded away. Now I was in a grassy yard and I was holding a small, brown puppy, and barking and playing around my feet was another older puppy, golden yellow—a Labrador, maybe?—and I was smiling and very happy. The dog brought me a stick, and I tossed it and then two smiling dogs ran off to get it.

Suddenly, I was back inside the house, in the kitchen. There was a huge fireplace with a roaring fire, but I was standing near the kitchen table. I reached toward the fruit bowl for an apple and a half-dozen little spiders crawled out of the bowl and I woke up.

When I woke up I was happy and smiling, not frightened, and I’ll tell you why. Not only had I finally gotten an answer, but the answer was a positive one. But what about the spiders, I hear you asking. Even spiders are a positive “omen” in dreams.

First there was the lover’s gift of jewelry, jewels, gems, opals, rubies, and pearls. If you look up all of those symbols (gift, jewelry, jewels, gems, opals, rubies, and pearls) you find that it means:

Gift: your own innate gifts; your own innate abilities

Jewelry: if not broken, then pleasure and good fortune.

Jewels: to receive them from others, good fortune and good friends.

Gems: happiness in love and business.

Opals: great luck in the next few days.

Pearls: faithful friends and lovers; happiness

Rubies: happiness and good luck in all speculations.

Earrings: encouraging and interesting work.

Necklace: to receive a necklace as a gift means happy times and faithful lover.

Then the part about the puppies playing:

Dogs: intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity.

Puppies: Good, strong friends and friendships.

Green grass: happiness and wealth.

Green fields: abundance and happiness.

Followed by the kitchen scene:

Kitchen: unpleasant gossip surrounds you.

Fire: prosperity and good luck.

Fruit: (eating them) struggles

Apples: prosperity and harmony if the apples are without blemishes or worms.

Spiders: many spiders means fortune, good health, good friends, and favorable conditions are yours.

When put all together, it shows me that through my own innate gifts, my good friends and faithful lover I will enjoy prosperity, happiness, and good luck on the path I have chosen, despite a few bumps and problems.

So, what are your dreams whispering to you?

(For more about dreams and what they might be trying to tell you, read On dreams and dream symbols.)

The making of Escorting the dead: My life as a psychopomp

ovaldoveSo, the book is out there, and I’ll admit I have mixed emotions about it. Let me explain…my initial reaction was to write the book from the perspective of an outsider. I was going to be interviewing someone else, rather than making it so autobiographical. However, during the course of my writing this and pulling all the pieces of the book together, several people close to me died.

The best way I had of working through my feelings of loss was to write about them. This has always been my way. I express myself through words, rather than tears or hugs. (Oh, there are plenty of those, too, but when showing emotions physically, I find I have no words. If you want to know why I’m hugging you, you’d best read the note I’m probably handing you along with the hug.) So, here I was writing away my sorrows, and before I knew it, I had at least half a book going, though not quite the book I started out to write.

While I wanted to write about those of us who help others make the transition between life and death, I certainly didn’t want to be the focus of the book. But, here it was half done…and to try to rewrite it so that I wasn’t the lead would, (I felt) remove some of the honesty and authenticity. With the information already being slightly on the fantastical side, I certainly needed as much authenticity as I could get. Writing from the heart is the best way to get that honesty, and that’s what I was doing. So, I kept on writing, alternately wondering if I was being egotistical or foolish. After all, complete strangers, as well as close friends might read this, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what they might think of me once they did.

At one point during the creation of this book, the anxiety became too much, and I found myself not sleeping and unable to eat. Then one morning, one of those who had recently died came to me. She stood in the doorway between the sun porch and the kitchen and wagged her finger at me. A moment later, I felt a warming embrace surround me, and the words, “Trust us…” slipped past my ear.

I let the anxiety go, and went back to work on the book. When I seemed at a loss for what to say, words seemed to just form themselves in my head. It seemed as if I wasn’t the only one who wanted this information shared. The more I began to trust, the easier the words flowed. What had begun out of self-interest, now seemed to have a fuller purpose.

One night as I neared the end of this project, I again began questioning whether I should publish the information. After all, I work in a rather staid, conservative industry at a very conservative firm. The last thing I wanted to do (especially in this economy) was to get myself fired because they thought I was a crazy person on the edge of lunacy. However, when I finally fell asleep I found myself surrounded by a bright white light and encircled by about 8 or 10 of my “crew”. The feelings of support and acceptance were strong, and the message was very clear. This is what I need to do.

So, the next morning, bolstered again, I went back to the computer and let the words flow.  And flow they did, until the pages were filled with information and memories.

If it helps even just one person, then I can say it was worth it, because that was the purpose: to help people understand about death, so that their lives (and deaths) can be filled with hope and love, instead of fear and anxiety.

I see you…

Can people really view objects, locations, and people from a distance (remote viewing), or allow part of themselves to travel away from their body to some other place (out of body experiences)? The American and Russian governments believe so (Stargate was a real project within the US military and it was geared toward finding, training, and using people with these talents). And now, finally, the scientists are coming around to believing this, too.

Studies of the mind have identified a particular region of the brain associated with spatial recognition. In other words, there is a part of your brain that helps you fix yourself within a specific time and space; it keeps you within a specific reality. However, some people have the ability to control that aspect of their brain, to turn it off and on at will.

With it turned off, a person is no longer situated just where their body is. Instead, a part of them (let’s call it their awareness) is able to expand outward to any given coordinates whether on Earth or in space. These people have given accurate reports as to what they saw, heard, and experienced, yet their bodies never left the researcher’s sight. A rare few of these “travelers” or “viewers” have even been able to sense emotions of those in the target area, and some have reported being able to actually touch people and things in the target area (confirmed by contacting the target people who said they felt a push or hug during the experiment).

These studies have used MRI’s and brain scans during the travel and viewing experiments, which have shown the parts of the brains that were triggered. Each time the participant claimed to have launched themselves free of their bodies, the spatial recognition area of their brains has been shut down, and it didn’t come back on until the participants were “back”. During their travels, various other portions of the mind triggered, such as the visual cortex, even though the physical body had its eyes closed. All of which, the scientists claim shows that something real is happening and that while the body remains fixed in place, the mind (and perhaps more than the mind) has traveled somewhere else.

However, other scientists have shown that the brain can be fooled. By having the participants wear virtual reality goggles, these scientists have shown that substitute bodies (such as mannequins) can be used to fool the participants into believing what they’re not really experiencing. Scientists have positioned mannequins or other false body parts (arms or legs) in such a way that when the participants with the goggles see them being poked or swatted, they reach for their own stomach, arm, leg or body area and state that they felt the swat, poke, or prod. Yet, the scientists never touched the actual participant.

But fooling the brain into thinking that another [fake] body is your own body isn’t the same as actually describing a location across the globe that you’ve never been to. We all know that the brain is not infallible. It’s only as good as the input it receives. If presented with a perspective that the brain cannot quite understand, the brain will supply answers based on past experience and current input. That may not be accurate, but it’s the only data the brain has, so that’s what it goes with.

Unfortunately, this does affect the results of any remote viewing or out of body experience. What you see when you “travel” may not be something you can easily comprehend, it may not be visually clear (almost everyone who remote views or who steps out of body, claims that their vision becomes foggy or cloudy—maybe because we’re no longer using our physical eyes and senses to see a physical world), and it has to travel through our own personal filters (prejudices and beliefs). Therefore, while I believe it’s possible, it’s also not always easy to explain or quantify. It’s like everything else in this world…uniquely personal and individually distinctive.