Can you hear me…

My husband and I have spent the past few months searching for a home to rent. I was determined to use my “instincts” this time rather than my intellect. Following my intellect and overriding emotions is what had led us to be in this position of needing to find a rental, and I was intent on allowing my inner voice lead us this time.

When my husband and I moved to our current location I had pushed away the little voice that kept hollering at me. It kept saying that we needed to wait, not buy; we needed to rent an apartment or something and maybe buy something later. But rather than listen to that voice, I opted to go with my husband’s choice of moving once. So we purchased a home only to have the home values erode leaving us underwater with no life preservers.

After watching the home values plummet and the neighborhood collapse, we, too, finally succumbed to the realization that we could no longer maintain a home that was so far underwater. So, with a short sale on the verge of completion, I began hunting for some place for us to move to. However, it seems that the majority of people in our area were also trying to rent, either because they had also left homes they could no longer support or because they didn’t trust the housing market and refused to invest in it. Either way, competition was stiff.

The limited rental market, combined with the lack of a finalized closing date on our own home sale left me scrambling and my emotions running high. The heightened emotions were doing a wonderful job at blocking that inner voice that I swore I was going to listen to. Instead, all I could hear was “Grab it! Get it! There might not be anything else!”

With this overly emotional voice of panic screaming at me, it became difficult to be intuitive let alone logical about finding a place to live. We traipsed through places so filthy that I would have never even gotten out of the car to view them, let alone considered renting them had it not been for that screaming voice of panic. Call after call was made, never to be returned, or if returned, it was by a rude, and oftentimes snotty realtor or leasing agent who could care less about my plight. Most often the response was the same, “It’s rented already.” followed by them hanging up. (And this after the house, apartment, or condo had been on the market for only 3 or 4 days.)

I was, therefore, suspicious when I viewed some images online of a place for rent and felt a wrenching in my gut that said, “I recognize that place.” I looked at them again, and re-read the description of the home. My husband and I had never been in the community, so I know we had never seen the house, yet there it was again…that pull of recognition. Although the days on the rental market read 20, I called fully expecting that if I got to speak to anyone they would tell me that the place was already rented.

When the leasing agent called back, she was less than friendly, but not overtly rude. She pointed out that the place was in a 55+ community, as if she expected me to go “Oh sorry…” and hang up. Instead, I responded that both my husband and I were qualified, and suddenly her demeanor changed. We agreed on a time and date to view the home and when we walked inside, that pull of recognition was even stronger.

Because the voice of panic was also still there, I disbelieved my inner voice and I stressed and worried while our credit and work histories were checked and our references were reviewed, all the while expecting to hear them say, “sorry, your credit score sucks…” or “sorry, the owner has found someone else…”. Instead, we got a call from the leasing agent stating that the owner actually understood and empathised with our situation and was quite willing to give us a go.

I couldn’t believe it. Despite the inner voice, despite the instant recognition of the place via the pictures, I was still shocked. It made me realize that no matter how strong your “talents”, you can still be fooled; you can still end up following the voice of panic or other highly charged emotions. Luckily for us, I was trying to listen for the inner voice, so even though the emotions tried to drown it out, I did manage to hear it. But if I hadn’t been listening, or if my doubts had won out, my husband and I could still be struggling to find a place to live.

We all need to make an effort to listen to that inner voice and not let the sounds of our own highly charged emotions drown it out. We need to believe that the path is there if we can just calm down enough to find it. Hopefully, that lesson has burned its way into my brain and I won’t have such difficulties next time listening to, hearing, and following that inner voice.


By Any Other Name…

I got into a discussion the other day with someone who objected to the use of the words ‘guide’ and ‘guardian’ (as in guardian angels). When I asked why, they said that there were no guides or guardians only essence doing what essence does.

Several others in the group disagreed and the discussion flowed back and forth with some agreeing and others disagreeing. As for me, I can see his point, but I also think that he’s not seeing the fuller picture.

Are guides or guardians essence? Of course, we all are. But it doesn’t necessarily follow that the essence that comes to us as a guide is our own essence (our higher self). Other fragments of ourselves (fragments no longer incarnate) can be acting as guides, as can entity mates, or even cadre or cadence companions. All would be in essence (especially if discarnate and astral), but they would also be guides or guardians.

A programmer is a person (or at least most of the ones I know are;-), but we don’t identify them as ‘person’, we identify them as ‘programmer’. In other words, we’re identifying them with the role they fulfill. To me it’s the same with guides and guardians. They may be essence, but if they perform the ‘job’ or task of guide, then that’s what I call them.

A guide, while some part of essence (yours or someone else’s), is still performing a specific function—they’re guiding you, whether it is through a particular challenging passage of your life or through your transition between physical lives. After all, if some piece of essence is helping you, providing dreams or other feedback in an effort to “guide” you along your path, aren’t they acting as a guide?

Sure the piece of essence might be part of your essence, but then we usually refer to that as your “higher self”; or it might be a different fragment of you (a fragment no longer incarnate on Earth). However, it could just as easily be part of your non-reunited entity (an entity mate). They are all essence, just as you yourself are; but each piece of essence doesn’t function as a guide.

While certainly no expert—I’m not sure anyone who is incarnate—I have spent a considerable amount of time in the astral planes (and not just on the transitional planes where most people go when they astral travel). Therefore, I feel somewhat protective and defensive of the term “guide”. I’ve “seen” (or maybe experienced is a better word) some of the different “jobs” that those beings of essence perform while in their astral phase of life. 

Sure, some of the “lessons” or experiences of the astral are more internal—reviewing the lives and choices they had and made while incarnate, or reuniting with all the other fragments of themselves and working through any residual links or minor imbalances with those still in the physical (which is usually done in the astral while the incarnate person is sleeping). But part of the experiences of the astral include acting as a guide for those either still physical or those transitioning between life and death (physicality and non-physicality). There are also those who offer advice, and others who simply monitor things—people, plants, animals, etc. So, it isn’t all just playing harps and floating around on clouds. Nor can it be wrong to call some of those non-corporeal beings guides—after all, it is what they do.

It isn’t just those who are discarnate, either, who function as guides in essence. I have also taken on that task during some of my nightly sojourns, as have others I’ve spoken with in the here and now.

I know one young woman who works on the transitional planes assuring those who have recently died (physically) that they are alright and that what they are experiencing is physical death. I’ve known others who work with those heading back to a physical life, helping them sort out all the various choices available to them as they plan the tasks and imbalances they want to complete or rectify.

As for myself, I’m what I call an EOCG—Emergency On-Call Guide. I take those “calls” from folks who are incarnate and seeking support and guidance, as well as those who have, perhaps, traveled to the astral (whether during sleep or an unplanned OBE) and are now “lost”. (This in addition to my “duties” in helping people cross over.)

Most of those I take calls from are entity mates, but I have also responded to cadre and cadence companions. Why do I do this? Because I chose to. I’ve chosen to do this through the past 7 lives. It’s to help them as well as myself. I look at it as a type of “on-the-job-training”. After all, it gives me a chance to learn more about how everything and everyone fits together in the overall scheme of things, and it helps me decide what type(s) of “jobs” or “tasks” I will continue with once I transition off the physical plane for good.

So, even though some people may not like the term guide, or angels, or guardians, I find that the term is quite appropriate in describing what some parts of essence are doing.

The Book of Knowledge

I was sitting on the grass, the sun warming my back while the trees murmured to each other. A gentle breeze caressed my cheek and the droning of bees filled the air. Although, I noted all of this on one level, I didn’t really notice it at all. The book in my lap occupied my complete attention, holding me, captivating me. Fascinated, I clung to every word.

It wasn’t a romance or mystery, not even a thriller or horror story–although, it did have some of all those elements within in it. No, this book was different, completely different from anything I had ever read before. It wasn’t put out through some regular publishing house; it wasn’t an e-book, or paper book. When I say this book was different, I truly meant it.

As I read through it, I felt rightness about the world and universe. It was as if each word only confirmed what I already knew. There was so much truth and wisdom packed into this thin, white volume, that I was amazed. How could this little book contain so much?

I couldn’t stop reading. Each word was a delight. Each sentence was a treat that filled my senses and teased my mind. Each page filled my mind with a million thoughts and ideas. They flooded through me, rolled over me, and barreled on past as I tried desperately to hang on to them. Every unique idea burst through me like a barrage of sky rockets, and I felt as if I were soaring high above the world.

My eyes moved down the page, and my mind continued to buzz and thrum with all the delightful insights that each sentence called forth from my being. Where had this book been hiding. Why hadn’t I found it until now? Everyone needed to read this book, I thought as I pulled my eyes from the page and smiled up at the butterflies soaring above me. 

I thought of all the people who could be helped just by reading any portion of this magnificent writing; of all the wars and other violent situations that could be averted if people would just read from this book. It was dumbfounding that more people hadn’t learned what I had simply from the few moments I had spent reading this book. Every person should have their own copy, I murmured to myself. Just think how wonderful the world would be if we all read from this book and were awakened to the knowledge and understanding of how things worked–a secret that hides within all of us.

Each of us carries the knowledge, the wisdom to do no harm. Yet every day we ignore that wisdom and go out and do as we please, regardless of who or what we hurt. Yet, I knew that if we all read even just a few pages from this book, that the rate of hurtfulness would drop significantly. How could it not? The information was all right here–all anyone had to do was read the first page and they, too, would see the truth, both within themselves and within the book.

I stood, my finger caught in the book, holding my place, and I looked toward the house. I needed to make as many copies of this book as possible, so everyone would have a chance to see what I had seen. As I glided through the grass toward the house, I suddenly awoke. Finding myself in the darkness of my bedroom, I cried out.

I sat up in the bed and searched frantically for the book I had moments before been holding in my hands. But, of course, it wasn’t there. It had just been a dream. There was no actual “book”, there was only the information that each of us carries within ourselves. Not that this makes the information any less valid, but it does make it harder to share. After all, a physical book can be copied, or given away, or read to others. But how does one share the information that is “written” only on their own soul?

Each of us carries within us their own version of this “book”. The “trick” is finding the key to unlock that information ,thereby making it available to yourself (and, if you like, to others). You see, everyone is different. While some people will never look inside and recognize that they have a copy of this “book”, others may see it and never “read” it. 

This book of knowledge is hidden away within the library of your soul, but the librarian is adept at inducing fear, because she doesn’t want you to know the secrets within this book. For some people, she is so fearsome that they will never enter the library, let alone check out the book hidden inside there. Others may sneak into the library and find the book, but then be frightened away by the librarian before they can figure out what the book says. Some others may actually get a glimpse inside that book and know that it holds great wisdom and truth, but still be too afraid of the librarian to stay very long. But a few, like me, will brave the librarian, proving to themselves that she is not as fearsome as she would like you to think; and in doing so, manage to remove the book long enough to read the entire thing–cover to cover. And once read, they will find that life will never be the same, because they have discovered something wondrous–about themselves, about the world, and about everyone they know.

Whichever one of these you may be is fine, because not everyone needs to seek out their book of knowledge, nor does everyone need to read every passage within the book. Everyone is different, and everyone is on different paths, so when the time is right, you will find your book and you will read whatever passage or page you need to in order to continue on with your life. But if you’re lucky (because I consider myself lucky to have read the entire book and to have remembered most of it), you too, will read and remember every morsel of that book, and you, too, will find your life changed because of it.

It’s a fascinating and enlightening read, and I hope each of you gets the chance to at least sample some of the writings in your own book of knowledge some day.

floating on air


To dance so lightly

as if not there.

I spin;

I leap;

I challenge;

I dare

to try to float upon air.




I wander lost

and unsure,

through mazes of still lifes;

unmoving images,

frozen frames of time.


Into these tableaus,

which resemble

segments of life,

I try to fit.

But, somehow I never do.


So, I wander;

wending my way through

these moments of time,

striving to find

that one moment meant for me.




Frozen droplets

refracting sunlight,


to earth


miniature rainbows

on a white,



Thistle Seed


thistle seeds_4396--4x6

Chased by the wind, I see you dance.

You pirouette without a glance

to those who stand and watch you twirl.

Swiftly gliding you pass in a swirl

Racing back to your private soiree,

you bounce on tiptoes as you glide away.

Although you leave me far behind,

I’m flying too, if just in my mind.

For in my heart I, too, do soar

following you over glen and tor.

You’ve touched my soul and set it free,

Sweetly dancing thistle seed.