Where is Love?

wave washed heart and pink shovel_4500Where has the romantic gone?

How did she become lost?

Where is the lonely little girl who constantly poured her soul

Into a few choice words—laying bare her life, her heart, and her mind?

I have searched everywhere, yet she remains lost.

I see a form; it could be her.

Instead I am confronted with some glowering old woman

Whose sour disposition seeps forth from every seam of her face,

and every pore of her skin.

Like the odor of spoiled meat, it surrounds her in a miasma,

full of despair and dislike.

When she sees me, she grabs my sleeve

and demands querulously, “Where is love? Where has it gone?”

“I was a young woman once—in love with life and filled with joy.

Now, here I am dressed in these rags. My hair is coarse and my

face is wrinkled. I do not understand. How did I come to be this way?”

Her tears follow the runnels of her face

until they tumble free and splash against her shawl.

Her claw-like fingers still grip my sleeve

and I find myself patting her age-speckled hand.

Love is so fleeting, so swiftly fading.

With its departure do we lose our youth,

our beauty and our way.

Feeling her pain, I turn her toward the light.

Wiping away her tears, I softly explain

that love is there, in front of her.

For within the light all is joy,

and within the light all is music,

and within the light everything is love.

With a look of awe, she releases me

and reaches toward the light.

As she shuffles forward, her countenance changes.

Her face grows smoother, and her back straighter,

and as the glow surrounds her, somewhere deep

within myself I feel the tones of love resound.


By Any Other Name…

I got into a discussion the other day with someone who objected to the use of the words ‘guide’ and ‘guardian’ (as in guardian angels). When I asked why, they said that there were no guides or guardians only essence doing what essence does.

Several others in the group disagreed and the discussion flowed back and forth with some agreeing and others disagreeing. As for me, I can see his point, but I also think that he’s not seeing the fuller picture.

Are guides or guardians essence? Of course, we all are. But it doesn’t necessarily follow that the essence that comes to us as a guide is our own essence (our higher self). Other fragments of ourselves (fragments no longer incarnate) can be acting as guides, as can entity mates, or even cadre or cadence companions. All would be in essence (especially if discarnate and astral), but they would also be guides or guardians.

A programmer is a person (or at least most of the ones I know are;-), but we don’t identify them as ‘person’, we identify them as ‘programmer’. In other words, we’re identifying them with the role they fulfill. To me it’s the same with guides and guardians. They may be essence, but if they perform the ‘job’ or task of guide, then that’s what I call them.

A guide, while some part of essence (yours or someone else’s), is still performing a specific function—they’re guiding you, whether it is through a particular challenging passage of your life or through your transition between physical lives. After all, if some piece of essence is helping you, providing dreams or other feedback in an effort to “guide” you along your path, aren’t they acting as a guide?

Sure the piece of essence might be part of your essence, but then we usually refer to that as your “higher self”; or it might be a different fragment of you (a fragment no longer incarnate on Earth). However, it could just as easily be part of your non-reunited entity (an entity mate). They are all essence, just as you yourself are; but each piece of essence doesn’t function as a guide.

While certainly no expert—I’m not sure anyone who is incarnate—I have spent a considerable amount of time in the astral planes (and not just on the transitional planes where most people go when they astral travel). Therefore, I feel somewhat protective and defensive of the term “guide”. I’ve “seen” (or maybe experienced is a better word) some of the different “jobs” that those beings of essence perform while in their astral phase of life. 

Sure, some of the “lessons” or experiences of the astral are more internal—reviewing the lives and choices they had and made while incarnate, or reuniting with all the other fragments of themselves and working through any residual links or minor imbalances with those still in the physical (which is usually done in the astral while the incarnate person is sleeping). But part of the experiences of the astral include acting as a guide for those either still physical or those transitioning between life and death (physicality and non-physicality). There are also those who offer advice, and others who simply monitor things—people, plants, animals, etc. So, it isn’t all just playing harps and floating around on clouds. Nor can it be wrong to call some of those non-corporeal beings guides—after all, it is what they do.

It isn’t just those who are discarnate, either, who function as guides in essence. I have also taken on that task during some of my nightly sojourns, as have others I’ve spoken with in the here and now.

I know one young woman who works on the transitional planes assuring those who have recently died (physically) that they are alright and that what they are experiencing is physical death. I’ve known others who work with those heading back to a physical life, helping them sort out all the various choices available to them as they plan the tasks and imbalances they want to complete or rectify.

As for myself, I’m what I call an EOCG—Emergency On-Call Guide. I take those “calls” from folks who are incarnate and seeking support and guidance, as well as those who have, perhaps, traveled to the astral (whether during sleep or an unplanned OBE) and are now “lost”. (This in addition to my “duties” in helping people cross over.)

Most of those I take calls from are entity mates, but I have also responded to cadre and cadence companions. Why do I do this? Because I chose to. I’ve chosen to do this through the past 7 lives. It’s to help them as well as myself. I look at it as a type of “on-the-job-training”. After all, it gives me a chance to learn more about how everything and everyone fits together in the overall scheme of things, and it helps me decide what type(s) of “jobs” or “tasks” I will continue with once I transition off the physical plane for good.

So, even though some people may not like the term guide, or angels, or guardians, I find that the term is quite appropriate in describing what some parts of essence are doing.

All you need is love

I see the same message over and over–to love others, love yourself. I’ve seen it in the movie “What the Bleep”, and in countless books (such as “Same Soul, Many Bodies” by Dr. Weiss, “The Heart of the Soul” by Gary Zukav, or even “Messages from Michael” by Yarbro).

I’ve always agreed with it, yet still I have a problem with self-esteem (as do a great many of us, I think), which makes it a difficult message to follow sometimes. After all, how can you love yourself when you’re too busy berating yourself for being too thin/fat/short/tall/dumb/klutzy? Somehow, though, we all seem to fall into patterns like that, and sometimes they can be very difficult to break out of.

There have been countless meditations, mantras, and techniques developed and touted over the years that are devoted to helping people learn to love themselves; however, I think I just found the perfect one. It’s 3 simple words, which when expressed with true feeling behind them, let you believe, experience, and expand on the emotional well-being that they give the sender and the recipient.

The words have become so commonplace, unfortunately, that many people say them without actually meaning them, or with the wrong meaning imbued in them. It’s not enough to just speak the words, you have to feel the emotion behind them, you have to share the emotion behind them in order to get the full experience. These words aren’t meant to express a physical attraction to someone, or an expectation that the recipient of the words will fulfill some deep-seated need within the speaker of the words.

These words need to express the emotional equivalent of acceptance and understanding. The words and the emotions need to flow inside you, through you, and around you, and acknowledge you as a human being. If you watch the video, you can feel the emotion. You know that these people mean what they’re saying, and what they’re saying is that you matter; you are important; you are an important person just because you exist. And soon you will find yourself not only believing them, but you find that you are able to share those words with others and mean them, too. That you will find others to be important; to matter, simply because they exist.

The words are simple; the emotions are complex; the rewards are priceless.

(Thanks to Exquisite Transitions for pointing out this wonderful, and emotional link)

Infinity is now

Artwork by DL Sullivan


Infinity is now; every reality is right here, right now. Every life is right here, right now, but you only see one—this one. However, there is so much more to this life that you don’t see. There is an infinite number of yous living lives that are right now affecting the you reading this post.  

At this very moment, your past and future lives are both helping and hindering your current life, all because of the choices you made (will make? Are making?).  

All your lives feed together. All your choices feed together. And every life and every choice feeds back to the current now, the current life.  

Artwork by DL Sullivan


So how does that influence your life now? Well, perhaps several “past” lifetimes ended with you drowning (maybe as a sailor, flood victim, and child playing near a stream), so in the current life you are petrified of pools, lakes, boats, and beaches. This is because at a non-conscious level, you remember this, and the body reacts to this information by creating a fear of the situations that might lead to another occurrence. However, if the fear becomes too great, it could keep you from fully living your current life.    

Perhaps in several “future” lives you are a teacher of astro-engineering, so in this life you feel a need to study astrophysics. You may also find yourself drawn to reading engineering journals or books. This is your soul’s way of using all its lives to explore choices and to share the experiences that each life has had, is having, will have.  

It’s all one. Every life we live affects every other life. Every choice we make in this life not only creates alternate lives so that every permutation of that choice is experienced and explored, but it also feeds into all the other lives that we are living—past, future, current, and all their alternates.  

If in this life you choose to learn how to design and build bridges, then that knowledge spreads through all your lives. You may not need it in every life, such as the life in Sardinia where you are a goat herder; however, in those lives where the information is needed, it will be there.  

Ever wonder why someone can learn four or five different languages so easily? It could be because their other selves in their other lives are already speaking those languages. If you have a life in Italy, Japan, Korea, and Finland, whether past or future, then you are going to have those languages available to you now. That means that the you that is now, the you currently reading this post, could, with a little study, start speaking any one or all of those languages, because you already are.  

We are the sum of our parts, but it’s not just the parts of this current life that are a part of us. It is also all of the parts of all of the other lives that we are currently living, have lived, and will live right now. So, just imagine the possibilities. Just imagine what you can do with your life, knowing all the other lives you have to draw on. You can do or be anything you could ever dream of, because somewhere, somewhen you probably are, have been, or will be.

Seeking validation

Have you ever noticed that for the most part we do things to show other people? Most of us decorate our houses so that we can show them off to our friends and families; or we buy a new outfit and can’t wait to wear it to work or to the next get-together to show our friends or co-workers.

We’re always seeking validation and acceptance from others. I’m not immune; I do the same thing—well not so much with the decorating or the outfits—but with my thoughts and ideas. I put my thoughts and ideas out here and hope other people will accept them, and validate them with their comments or approval, and therefore, make me feel accepted.

Most of us find a way to create something that expresses our ideas, our beliefs, that intensely personal part of ourselves that exists within. As I said, with me it’s writing, for my spouse it’s drawing, and for one of my co-workers it’s music. But not everyone feels creative, and even those who do still try to find validation and acceptance through the creations of others.

I also read books and view movies with an eye toward validating my beliefs, my ideas (and because I enjoy reading and watching movies);-). And I know many others do the same. Yet two people can watch the same movie and come away with totally different perceptions as to whether it was good, simply because for one it contradicts what they think and believe, and for the other it validated what they think and believe.

I can think of several movies that have made me feel as if my views and concepts of the world were valid. My views as to how time and alternate realities works are echoed in a movie called Frequency, while the movie Dead Again reflects (for me) how life lessons can play out.

Another movie that I find fascinating, and which validates some of my ideas and concepts of how life is continuous is Dragonfly with Kevin Costner (of course, it helps that it uses my favorite dragonflies as its central symbol).

But I also find books to be a fascinating source of validation. One of my favorites, Bag of Bones by Stephen King, expresses beautifully the world of connections (cords, links, and threads) that lies just outside of our normal range of vision. While the Sookie Stackhouse series (by Charlaine Harris) validates my ability to “hear” people’s thoughts/emotions, and “know” what paths they might be contemplating.

I know some other folks find their validation through music (creating, playing, or listening to it), or from various arts such as painting, sketching, blowing glass, or sculpting (either creating it or looking at it). There are times I’ve been able to tap into what the other folks are feeling or seeing in regards to the music or art, and sometimes not. But then, there are many times that my friends don’t experience the same rush or moment of awe that I get from a passage in a book or movie, either.

Somehow, it doesn’t really matter what venue you get your sense of validation from, though, just as long as you do. Because I believe we all need validation; we all need acceptance. Some of us create the experience, some of us simply enjoy the creations, and some of us do a little of both. So, where do you find your validation and acceptance?


Threads, ribbons, cables, links. Like a web they pull us together. Some of us follow the tugs of the threads knowingly; some of us even follow willingly; however, whether willingly, knowingly, or not, we all follow the threads that entangle our lives.

Some of the more forceful tugs on your soul are for life lessons that you (the essence of you) have chosen for yourself. Other lesser tugs can indicate someone you want or need to meet, a job opening that you’ve been waiting for, or even something as simple as an opportunity to save some money (a sale at the local dress shop) or make some money (by buying a lotto ticket).

Of course, not everyone pays attention to these unspecified urgings, these tuggings on their energies. But then, not everyone recognizes them for what they are. For example, you get up and are following your normal routine for a work day, but suddenly you have an urge to do something differently. Perhaps you normally take a train to work, and suddenly feel the urge to drive. There’s nothing specifically wrong—no suspicions that the train will crash, or that the bridge you travel over will collapse…nothing like that. No, it’s just an urge that says, “Hey, instead of taking the train, drive your car.”

Now, most people might just shrug it off, and head out for the train station. However, some folks hear that little voice urging them to make this change, and do it. So, maybe the car does break down out there on the road, but you meet a really nice guy (or gal) who lends you a hand, and things develop from there. But if you had taken the train like you always do, you might not have met that person.

Some folks call it serendipity, destiny, or coincidence. However, I’ve looked beneath the surface of things, and I’ll tell you, it’s all part of the web that each of us creates as we build our individual realities.

Each soul comes into the world with a “game plan”, a set of goals (lessons, objectives) that they want to try to achieve while they’re here. Here’s an example of a fairly typical “game plan” for someone we’ll call Pete. He plans on being born to a middle class family, in Middle America. He wants to finish high school, and hopefully go to college on a sports scholarship. He wants to major in computers, get a job, eventually marry and raise a family. Along the way, he wants to learn a lesson having to do with tolerance for those with disabilities, and perhaps rebalance one of his karmic imbalances.

That seems pretty easy doesn’t it? Nothing major there. Yet, think about all the choices that Pete will make from the moment he’s born until the day he dies. So, essence sets up a framework of energy links, a web, that will help ensure that he’s at least reminded of some of the milestones he wants to make in his life. So, when he reaches high school and is trying to decide on a college, maybe someone he needs to meet (a professor, let’s say) is at a specific university. Therefore, Pete will feel a tug that leads him to think more about that school’s offer than some of the others.

Of course, he can ignore that tug; after all, his choices are still his own to make, but the tug is there to remind him of what he (in essence) set up for himself. It could be that the professor can help him find his first job, or introduce him to a concept or idea that could change Pete’s whole way of thinking. But it’s up to him whether he follows that tug or not. So, even though we each create an initial web as a frame for our lives, we change the pattern of that web with each choice we make as we live our lives. We weave people in, and other people out; we weave a path that may take us miles, but never gains us any insight or awareness.

We weave patterns, places, people, and milestones in and out of our lives with every choice we make. Some of those choices we make blindly, and others we make by following those small tugs from the original framework that we each built for ourselves. So, next time you feel an urge to drive rather than fly, to walk rather than drive, to bypass the home and hearth for a visit to the bookstore (even though you’re tired), don’t just dismiss it. It might be that you’re trying to signal yourself into making a choice that just might change your whole life.


We had to patch the roof again this morning. It’s rainy season and the water keeps finding its way through the asphalt shingles and into the utility room. My husband had climbed up there last fall and patched around the skylights (which is where the leaks seem to be), but a puddle on top of the wash machine told us that new patches were needed.

As my husband worked to put the rubberized tar patches around the skylights, I kept thinking of the other types of patches people needed. So many people have auras that are like our leaky roof and in need of patching, but in their case, they don’t even know it.

Auras, like roofs, take a lot of abuse. There are the common and constant weather conditions, such as lightning (intense focuses of anger, or illness), rain (constant pattering of thoughts and emotions from everyone around you, or a constant pattering of stress caused by a physical ailment), snow and freezing (negative emotions and attitudes focused on you from yourself or others), and scorching sun (overly intense and repeated emotions or thoughts).

Then there are the more infrequent, but just as destructive, situations such as,
hail (peltings of negative emotions from yourself and others), whirlwinds and tornados (brief, quick outbursts of emotions that sweep you up, and then abruptly drop you), floods (overwhelming situations that bury you with thoughts or emotions for long periods), and hurricanes (which combine multiple emotional, intellectual, and physical onslaughts to your aura).

Most people don’t even realize that their auras take such a beating every day. If you don’t revitalize yourself, and rebuild your energies (patch your aura); then eventually, leaks occur. Your energies leak away, or are leached away, leaving you weak, overwrought, and susceptible to all kinds of physical responses.

You can think of your aura as your own personal ozone layer. Without it, your physical body now has no protection from all the energies that bombard you every day. Since thoughts are energy, and your body is energy, thoughts cause a reaction in the body. So, absorb enough negativity day after day, and the body reacts to it by getting sick. It can be something as simple and short term as a cold or headache, or it can be something more permanent and long-term such as asthma or heart disease.

While many headaches have physical causes, some are simply the reaction of the body to all of the energies (and noise) around it. In some instances, the roof has leaks and the rain (negative noise) is seeping through resulting in headaches. In other instances, the roof is growing weak, it has thin spots, and the pressure of staving off the onslaught of emotions and thoughts from others outside of yourself, is felt as a headache.

Most of us create our own stressors (fears)—deadlines, goals (monetary, career, relationships, etc.)—but some stress does come from all of the “noise” that surrounds us. The aura is our buffer, our roof, our ozone layer. It helps keep some of those additional stressors from putting a strain on us. But when we neglect our aura, when
we leave that roof unpatched, we hurt ourselves.

Okay, so how do you patch an aura, how do you keep it from developing leaks? Well, the most important part is to calm and relax the physical form (mind, body, and emotions). This then allows the etheric body to heal itself. So, anything that helps you relax, can help your aura heal.

Some people find yoga relaxing, while others meditate. Using scents, colors, sounds, and tastes, can all help to involve the entire being. Once you get the entire being relaxed, your aura can begin to heal. If yoga and meditation aren’t your thing, try a soothing bath with lavender, chamomile, or vanilla; sitting under some pine trees and listening to the birds sing; using white, blue, or lavender colored filters on the lights in your bedroom; or listening to soft, pleasant music while sitting in a sunbeam.

So, once a week, check out your roof by doing whatever it is that relaxes you, and remember to involve every part of you—the body, the mind, and the emotions.

It’s your best defense against leaks.