Can you hear me…

My husband and I have spent the past few months searching for a home to rent. I was determined to use my “instincts” this time rather than my intellect. Following my intellect and overriding emotions is what had led us to be in this position of needing to find a rental, and I was intent on allowing my inner voice lead us this time.

When my husband and I moved to our current location I had pushed away the little voice that kept hollering at me. It kept saying that we needed to wait, not buy; we needed to rent an apartment or something and maybe buy something later. But rather than listen to that voice, I opted to go with my husband’s choice of moving once. So we purchased a home only to have the home values erode leaving us underwater with no life preservers.

After watching the home values plummet and the neighborhood collapse, we, too, finally succumbed to the realization that we could no longer maintain a home that was so far underwater. So, with a short sale on the verge of completion, I began hunting for some place for us to move to. However, it seems that the majority of people in our area were also trying to rent, either because they had also left homes they could no longer support or because they didn’t trust the housing market and refused to invest in it. Either way, competition was stiff.

The limited rental market, combined with the lack of a finalized closing date on our own home sale left me scrambling and my emotions running high. The heightened emotions were doing a wonderful job at blocking that inner voice that I swore I was going to listen to. Instead, all I could hear was “Grab it! Get it! There might not be anything else!”

With this overly emotional voice of panic screaming at me, it became difficult to be intuitive let alone logical about finding a place to live. We traipsed through places so filthy that I would have never even gotten out of the car to view them, let alone considered renting them had it not been for that screaming voice of panic. Call after call was made, never to be returned, or if returned, it was by a rude, and oftentimes snotty realtor or leasing agent who could care less about my plight. Most often the response was the same, “It’s rented already.” followed by them hanging up. (And this after the house, apartment, or condo had been on the market for only 3 or 4 days.)

I was, therefore, suspicious when I viewed some images online of a place for rent and felt a wrenching in my gut that said, “I recognize that place.” I looked at them again, and re-read the description of the home. My husband and I had never been in the community, so I know we had never seen the house, yet there it was again…that pull of recognition. Although the days on the rental market read 20, I called fully expecting that if I got to speak to anyone they would tell me that the place was already rented.

When the leasing agent called back, she was less than friendly, but not overtly rude. She pointed out that the place was in a 55+ community, as if she expected me to go “Oh sorry…” and hang up. Instead, I responded that both my husband and I were qualified, and suddenly her demeanor changed. We agreed on a time and date to view the home and when we walked inside, that pull of recognition was even stronger.

Because the voice of panic was also still there, I disbelieved my inner voice and I stressed and worried while our credit and work histories were checked and our references were reviewed, all the while expecting to hear them say, “sorry, your credit score sucks…” or “sorry, the owner has found someone else…”. Instead, we got a call from the leasing agent stating that the owner actually understood and empathised with our situation and was quite willing to give us a go.

I couldn’t believe it. Despite the inner voice, despite the instant recognition of the place via the pictures, I was still shocked. It made me realize that no matter how strong your “talents”, you can still be fooled; you can still end up following the voice of panic or other highly charged emotions. Luckily for us, I was trying to listen for the inner voice, so even though the emotions tried to drown it out, I did manage to hear it. But if I hadn’t been listening, or if my doubts had won out, my husband and I could still be struggling to find a place to live.

We all need to make an effort to listen to that inner voice and not let the sounds of our own highly charged emotions drown it out. We need to believe that the path is there if we can just calm down enough to find it. Hopefully, that lesson has burned its way into my brain and I won’t have such difficulties next time listening to, hearing, and following that inner voice.